


cuy

by guan_lupe



Category: 16th Century CE RPF, Emperor's New Groove (2000), Historical RPF, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Political RPF - Latin America, The Emperor's New School (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-23 14:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guan_lupe/pseuds/guan_lupe
Summary: kyūbei wants to follow up on a contract with a cursed empire(crossover: emperor's new school / puella magi madoka magica)kuzco ღ malina





	1. Chapter 1

Malina stares out at the blue moon shining above the Andes. It's a week before her wedding ceremony to Kuzco, on the Feast of Inti Raymi. Her betrothed seems more concerned about the preparations and the outfits than she, but that's just Kuzco. Whenever she raises an eyebrow and gives him a smile, he melts and goes back to his old goofy self. Though he's become more mature, now actually spending almost every day in the Urubamba Valley and Ollantaytambo, helping the corn, coca and chili-pepper farmers, and visiting the villagers. (But that could also be just an excuse to go see Pacha, Chicha and the kids and play in the pool.) He's become broader too, less scrawny. Malina herself is becoming more a woman as well. The jewelry - gold, jade, and turquoise - she's expected to wear for the ceremony, in her hair, as a nose-ring, around her neck and on her wrists all weighs about twenty kilograms, though, and she wonders how she won't tip over or at the very least pull a muscle. She's currently being schooled on how to stand firm like an Empress and wife of the Sapa Inka.

She prays to Mama Quilla of the moon when she notices a small furry figure hop onto her window sill. A cuy! She goes very still and waits to see whether she can catch it with her bare hands. She's not supposed to handle things like that, but she's always wanted to feel one.

"Hello, Nina of the Apu Andes," says the cuy.

Malina leaps up from her bed and almost shrieks, if not for her disbelief that it isn't all in her head.

"Please don't be alarmed!" It is the cuy, speaking. "My name is Kyūbei. I'm from a different star than you. I'm not here to harm you."

Throughout the various kingdoms of the mountains, and north past Tayrona and even into the land of the Mexica, have always spread legends and tales of alien species communicating with mankind, and so while Malina is not as afraid as if she were from another place she is still very nervous. This cuy-looking creature is white with magenta markings, gold hoops around its long ears, a long furry tail and pink eyes. It speaks through telecommunication.

"You're Nina of the Apu Andes, future Empress of Tawantinsuyu, aren't you?"

Malina nods, surprised that it knows her true name. "Yes. Hello, Kyūbei. Wh-what are you doing here?"

"May I hop onto your bed, please?" Malina nods. Kyūbei enters and sits before her, on her finely-threaded woven blanket. "I'm here because I want to explain something to you, and offer you a contract that will benefit your people and the whole planet!"

Malina rubs her eyes and shakes her head. She takes a deep breath. Should she call her maid-servants? The dim lights of the lanterns and the herbs that have been placed in her room to make her sleep well, are making her drowsy.

"Why now?" she has enough sense to ask.

"It's because you're still unwedded." Before Malina could ponder this, Kyūbei quickly asks, "is there a wish you have for yourself, your Emperor and/or your people, Nina? Or shall I call you what others call you: Malina? Something you know would bring great fortune, or great joy? I can grant the most impossible wishes, if you make a contract with me to become what's known as a magical girl. It's not to any maiden I offer this contract to! And your people are a very special race, very aware of the secrets of the Universe."

"Thank you. I have no wishes, Kyūbei. I'd like to marry my beloved and rule with him as peacefully as possible, and that's what the stars have fated. Therefore, it's been a pleasure speaking with you--"

"Is this true, Malina, that you're fated to rule peacefully, with no disturbances? Has there been no strife or difficulty impeding your Empire from living peacefully, and has your Emperor had no great enemies that could be easily defeated if you simply made the wish?"

Malina pauses and considers the cuy-like creature. "How much do you know?"

Kyūbei scratches his ear with his hind leg and replies, "enough that I know of the witch Yzma. In fact, you'd be asked to defeat her anyway if you became a magical girl. In exchange for your wish, you must battle witches, who are great forces of darkness and despair and bring misfortune everywhere. Therefore, you could wish for a great harvest, or for your Emperor's leftover narcissism to fade away, a stronger army, or a healthy male heir; not only would you get this wish but you'd be able to destroy Yzma and any other witch that would come to threaten the Empire."

"Yzma is imprisoned," Malina says, shaking her head. "She's no threat. And little is known about how she became such a witch, but it seems you know much about these things."

"True!" Kyūbei quips. "In fact, perhaps I've said too much already. Why don't you- Well, why don't you speak to Yzma herself? I bet she could tell you more about my species' relationship to Tawantinsuyu."

"What...? What do you mean?"

"Really! Speak to her. I'll be back tomorrow night, Malina. Goodnight, and thank you." And with that, Kyūbei hops onto the window sill and disappears into the night.

The next morning, Malina, having slept fitfully, allows herself to be bathed and groomed by her handmaids but skips breakfast and immediately makes her way to the dungeons. Before she can reach them, she's intercepted by Kuzco himself, at the entrance to Qorikancha. "Hey, what's going on?" he asks, concernedly taking her soft hands in his. His eyes are curious and a bit skeptical. He's dressed for farming, wearing a thin poncho and boots, and with his hair in a topknot. Malina admires, again, how much he's been maturing. "They told me you want to see _Yzma_." Kuzco makes a typical Kuzco face that makes Malina burst out laughing momentarily, before regaining composure. "See?" says Kuzco. "The idea is ludicrous, so what gives, Malina?"

The Empress-to-be considers telling her consort about Kyūbei, but something holds her back, some ancient instinct in her that says that these things are only for women to handle and discuss.

"I had a dream about her last night," she lies to Kuzco, which she hates doing - though it's not a complete lie. "I just wanted to gaze at her and ponder her fate." Kuzco had already told her over the years everything he could remember about being raised by Yzma, and how she'd enabled his narcissism.

"That doesn't sound right. You feelin' all right, honey?"

Malina takes a deep breath, avoiding Kuzco's gaze and releasing his hands. "Don't worry, it's just something that I've got to do before becoming Empress. I won't- I mean, she can't hurt me. Right?"

Kuzco shakes his head. "She bites."

"I know, but... I'll be fine. C'mon, Kuzco, it's MA-LI-NA, remember?" She shakes her hips, reminiscent of when they were in school together. "I know how to keep my groove. Like my Emperor, right?" She leans forward and plants a sweet and promising kiss on his lips.

"Then take this with you, OK? Here." Kuzco hands her a little woven figure of a llama. "Don't forget what she did to me."

Malina nods and kisses him again, to which he returns, and for a moment Malina wants to forget about all this Kyūbei nonsense. But, something isn't right and only she can get to the bottom of it.

* * *

**to be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Inca/Quechua cheat sheet:**  
>  Quechua is the language of the Inca. The "Inka" (Quechua spelling) are the ruling class, but the Empire is called Tawantinsuyu, meaning "four corners." Inti Raymi is the Feast of the Sun, on the winter solstice, around the end of June, when the sun is at its zenith. It is named for Inti, who is the sun-god, as Mama Quilla (sometimes called Pachamama) is the moon-goddess.
> 
> Qorikancha is the Temple of the Sun. The Urubamba Valley is the Sacred Valley, as is Ollantaytambo. Tayrona is in Colombia and the Mexica are the race of the Aztec.
> 
> "Cuy" in Quechua is guinea pig, and it has been traditionally eaten as a delicacy for centuries. "Apu" in Quechua means mountain.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, it's visited you, has it?" Yzma chuckles, admiring the nails she's still persuaded the guards to let her paint, with the little bit of sunlight that filters in to her cell. "And it wants me to tell you all about it? Ha!"

"Is Kyūbei the reason you've tried to kill Kuzco, for so long?" Malina asks. She sits with the witch, Kuzco's little llama-weaving hidden in her hand.

Yzma scowls. There's some strange brightness still left in her eyes, something intelligent and good. "There are several reasons, girl, but, yes. It matters not now, though. It's all over, whether you make the contract or not. I am turning. Don't you know? Ach!" Yzma waves her hand. "Foolish child. Go, shoo the creature away, have your few moments of glory and watch the Empire crumble. But do not trust the Incubator."

"What do you mean watch the Empire crumble? And what is the Incubator? Witch, how dare you speak so ambiguously to your future Empress! Be clear!"

Yzma sighs. "I haven't even the hutzpah in me to strangle you and turn the guards to tuki-cocks. What a life!" She grins her yellow grin. "You want to know the truth, little Virgin Bride-to-Be?"

Malina merely glares.

"You should really ask the shamans to administer the Ayahuasca brew to you," comments Yzma idly. "Haven't you peered into the Mysteries yet? Which makes me crave something - guard!" She calls. "Bring a jar of chicha for our future Empress Malina and the Wisened Pachamama. It's time they truly bonded. After all - we are in the bowels of the sacred Qorikancha!" She cackles. It's true. The dungeons lay deep beneath the Temple of the Sun.

The guard looks wildly at Malina, expecting Malina to retaliate but Malina merely breathes in a deep and nervous sigh and nods to him. Chicha is only meant for ceremonies, a strong chewed corn-beer fermented for years. It is only to be poured into golden flasks. Once the jug is brought with the flasks, the two women toast to each other and drink deeply, as is the tradition.

"I have never drank of Ayahuasca," confesses Malina. "Only Coca to endure the height of the Apu."

"Hm." Yzma makes a strange face. "It may be better that you haven't. Your future husband hasn't either, as far as I know. You're both so incredibly stupid."

The guards inch a bit closer to Yzma, but Malina shoos them back. She's unfazed. "You compare Kuzco to Pachacuti and his son?" Malina asks, eyebrow raised, drinking.

"Ha! As if the llama could be compared to those Sapa Inka. Call him Atahualpa, already, and blame him for the death of his brother. Your betrothed is no god, Nina, and that he be nicknamed after the city is ridiculous. Your name, too; and these ridiculous games we've all been playing. The demonic forces we've allowed into Tawantinsuyu to engorge the Emperor's ego is unlike anything these mountains have seen." She sips, pensively. "And I'm to blame."

"Howso, Izama?"

"I made the contract," Yzma mutters. She chuckles. Malina pours her more chicha. "I made a wish, long ago, that I could stop the Virgin Sacrifices."

"What?" Malina breathes, coming closer.

"Yes, I've lived through five generations, all so there would be no girl-sacrifices. You see, Nina of the Apu Andes," Yzma turns sadly to Malina, "when I was fourteen I was to be the virgin-sacrifice for Wiraqucha. And I was ready, when the Incubator who calls itself Kyūbei came to me in the night. He said there was another way. He said that rather than young women being brought to the mountains to be slaughtered, so as to keep peace in the city of Qusqu, that the Incubator species could harness young women's agony as energy in the Universe. All that was required of me was to change fate in some way by wishing for something that was not meant to be. So, in my youthful idiocy I thought I could trick it, and I wished that there never be anymore virgin-sacrifices, even after my death. What I didn't realize was that in order for that to come true, I would have to live forever. Because the truth is that the Inka will always rely on human sacrifice, and my death as a magical girl (not as a virgin-sacrifice on the part of the Inka) would bring the witch-labyrinths the Empire seeks to avoid, causing it to seek once more a virgin-sacrifice. And there was no guarantee that the new girl would become a magical girl, or even that Kyūbei would offer her the contract. So, my immortality is the virgin-sacrifice, in its own way. But, I am turning.

"There is a prophecy that has arisen because of my having changed Tawantinsuyu Empire. Your Atahualpa is said to be the last Sapa Inka. The fate of the magical girl is to keep fighting witches in order to maintain her body. We become the witches, in the end. So, the Universe has called a witch here, so dark and powerful, so enormous and unfathomable, from across the Eastern sea - I've seen her during my flights under Ayahuasca; her name is Isabel de Castilla, and she comes with hundreds of silvered gods and with weapons the Inka cannot overcome and diseases that will kill us. And that witch will cause my soul-gem to turn completely black. The only one who could possibly face Isabel would be a magical girl with an equivalent force of destiny, which is why Kyūbei has turned to you, the future Empress. Queen can fight Queen. Yes, I tried to kill Atahualpa, but not because I wanted power for myself, but because I wanted to change fate. I needed to be Empress. But I also hated Atahualpa, because I'd been forced to raise him to be selfish and petty and megalomaniacal, in the hopes that the priests and shamans would reject him and crown his brother - which they did, but your Atahualpa maneuvered things so that Huascar would die in battle. Huascar was the true heir. Yes, I wanted to kill your precious 'Kuzco,' whom everyone now loves. But, he is the same llama I turned him into, except with a little more integrity now. And my defeat as a witch is what the Incubator waits for, as it waits for Isabel's and as it waits for yours if you make the contract. Do you understand?"

Malina has gone pale. The chicha has finished. Without realizing, Malina has unraveled the llama-figure in her hand, so that she now only holds a mass of multi-color strings, threading through her fingers.

* * *

**to be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Inca/Quechua cheat sheet:**  
>  Chicha is a fermented corn-beer used in rituals. Coca is the famous coca-leaf. When brewed, it helps digestion and cures altitude-sickness. When its leaves are chewed, you place it between your teeth and the side of your mouth and its stimulating properties release, giving you energy to endure living in the mountains. Ayahuasca is a very potent hallucinogenic brew. The Inca used it in rituals, and its use was limited to shamans.
> 
> Pachacuti, son of Wiraqucha, was the Emperor to unite the Inca Empire, build Machu Picchu, and establish Inti Raymi and the Inti cult. He was Atahualpa's great-grandfather. Atahualpa was prophecied to be the last Emperor, and he did have his brother Huascar strategically killed. "Qusqu" is the Quechua spelling of Cusco, the capital of the Inca Empire. Disney named their Emperor protagonist "Kuzco" in fun, but in this fic that's just his nickname. He's Atahualpa.
> 
> Isabel de Castilla is the famous Spanish Queen "Isabella of Castille," who along with her husband Fernando de Aragón (Ferdinand of Aragon) financed Columbus' travels to the New World. She would have been dead a few decades by Atahualpa's reign, however. But, in my fic, her "witch" figure still lives on.


	3. Chapter 3

_Go enjoy your betrothed, girl. You have a week to make your choice, a week before you're pierced, and if you make the contract you will be like a scallop shell in his arms. Is it worth it to become like that, if you believe you can save him and Tawantinsuyu? Either way, treasure whatever virginal play you can, while your flesh and soul are still one and while there are no regrets._

Within the palace chambers, at the edge of the citadel of Saqsaywaman, Malina goes to Kuzco. She dismisses her handmaidens. Kuzco takes one look at her and dismisses his servants.

Before he knows it, she's in his arms, running her fingers up his back pulling at the fabric. Her face is buried in his neck, inhaling his earthy scent. She presses her soft chest against his lean body, keening when he tightens his embrace. "Love me as much as you can, my king," she breathes in his ear. Kuzco nods and lifts her, carrying her over to his bed. He lays her down and leans over her while she presses up against him. "Heh- calm down, beautiful," he murmurs, kissing her throat while she undoes his sashes. She leans up and kisses his lips again, tasting his desire and showing him hers. She spreads her legs which allows him to settle his hips between them, his hardness pressing against her still-clothed sex.

"I love you," she murmurs as he moans. A shock of desire passes through her, as it does him. They buck their hips at the same time. "I love you too," he whispers, overwhelmed but not complaining.

"Put your hands on me," she mutters, threading fingers through his thick hair, kissing beneath his ear. "Put your mouth on me. And let me be yours in everything but penetration, and bring you," she looks hazily into his eyes and mumbles against his lips, "to heights of love's pleasure."

"Malina, you're making me nervous," Kuzco says huskily, and a little shakily. He looks into her eyes with his own desire-filled ones, but he searches for an answer as to why she's acting this way. Malina only smiles and confesses mildly, "I want to be close to you, to show you my feelings." Kuzco can only nod, giddy, and kiss her passionately as they begin to undress each other. They touch each other, enjoying each sensation, laughing, losing themselves in each others' bodies. Lips kiss lips and fingers and secret patches of skin, mouths sucking, biting, licking sensitivities, muffling yells and moans and gasps. Time goes by, their sweat-slicked bodies rubbing against each others', natural emissions wetting their thighs. They've lost count of climaxes, but Malina's weeping and Kuzco's whining in pain, from holding back so much the natural instinct to penetrate.

"Next week," Kuzco promises, breathing heavy, kissing her. 

Malina nods, kissing back, but she's still weeping.

"Tell me," says Kuzco, taking her face gently in his hand. "Come on, baby."

"No, don't ask me to tell you," Malina says against his hand. "Just hold me."

"Damn it! That Yzma is dangerous!"

"Kuzco - _Atahualpa_." Malina looks up into Kuzco's shocked eyes. No one ever calls him by that name. It's his sacred name. Soothingly, Malina strokes his thin and angular cheeks, feeling his fine facial hair. His dark eyes are frightened and angry. "Are you angry that I called you by that name?"

Kuzco shakes his head. "You're my consort and the only one I'd allow to do that before my official crowning. But what did the witch say?" he asks in a menacing voice.

"To enjoy you," Malina admits softly, smiling sadly.

"In the way we just did?" Kuzco sits up and looks down at her reclining form. "And why did you go to her in the first place? Tell me, Malina." He beckons she sit up too. "You have to trust me."

Malina closes her eyes and covers herself with blankets. "I don't know how to explain. I do trust you, Kuzco. I- She told me about Huascar!"

Kuzco now closes his eyes in shame and pain.

"She said it was your fault, but I don't know what to believe because she was also able to explain about something that's happened to me..." Malina burrows her face into the pillow. "Some alien visitor I've had, who's coming again, tonight."

"What?" Kuzco's narcissism begins to show, in his annoyed tone.

Malina chokes back tears. But she does sit up. Shaking her head, she says, "I'll tell you when I can gather my thoughts. I'm loyal to you, my lord, and I don't doubt your virtue." She looks into his eyes. "Please? I'm yours, after all our adventures together, since we've been kids."

Kuzco sighs deeply. His face returns to being concerned. "OK. Then, what can I do to help you?"

"Just be with me, for now," Malina says, smiling and blushing, "and call me by my sacred name too."

Kuzco grins, "not 'hottie-hot-hottie,' anymore?" He leans forward as Malina laughs. "We were so stupid," she confesses and accepts his kiss, and he laughs too.

"I was stupid," confesses Kuzco. He strokes back Malina's hair. "And I, too, will soon tell you everything about Huascar; I may be a narcissist, but it's not what it seems. All I can ask is that you trust me, Nina of the Apu Andes." He kisses her hand. "Empress of Tawantinsuyu."

Malina nods. They fall asleep together until Malina wakes suddenly a few hours later and goes to the window.

"There you are!" says Kyūbei, waving his tail eagerly. "I tried giving you privacy but I was so eager to speak with you."

"I won't make the contract, Kyūbei," Malina says solemnly.

"I wouldn't make up my mind so quickly, Nina of the Apu Andes! There's news from the East coming in the morning that may be of particular interest to you. I'll check with you again tomorrow night!" And with that, he flies off.

Malina looks up at the stars and asks for breath at such high altitude as in this city of Qusqu where she lives; for she feels she has none.

* * *

**to be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If i were naming chapters, I would name this one "Sexay Woman" ;) Get it? After Saqsaywaman (sound it out)? Ugh, Peruvian tourist joke, I know >.<


	4. Chapter 4

Malina strides once more into Yzma's cell, the guards surrounding her. She dismisses them, but they insist they're on strict orders by the Emperor not to leave Malina alone with the witch.

"Bring Kronk, then!" Malina growls.

"Kronk is currently guarding the Emperor, Lady," one of the guards says.

"Then bring me a shaman who can administer the Ayahuasca brew, enough for two."

The guards obey, while Yzma sizes up Malina.

"Kyūbei," Yzma calls, finally deciding to help the young princess.

The cuy-like creature suddenly meanders around the legs of the guards and into the cell. Malina insists the creature be allowed to stay.

 _My presence enables magical girls to conduct telepathy with whomever they wish_ , Malina hears Kyūbei say in her mind. _Izama is still a magical girl._

 _I like the sound of that, it makes me younger,_ says Yzma, with a forlorn expression. _Anyway, telepathy takes some getting used to_. _Just direct your thought to me, as if you were speaking. I'll hear._

 _What is the exact prophecy of Atahualpa being the Last Emperor?_ Malina asks.

_A magician from across the Western sea, from Nihon, spoke to one of our priests who'd flown to his land, two generations ago. He was the one to explain the nature of the strange gods with translucent skin, who were traversing lands and oceans in search of the Treasures of the Indus-Ārya in Bhārat. They wish to find Bhārat and find some kind of secret within their Empire. Do you even know of the Indus-Ārya?_

Malina sighs. _Yes. But, go ahead, enlighten me further._

Yzma scowls. _You know nothing. The Indus-Ārya hold the secrets of the Universe, which they have been passing across the sea to us, in exchange for blessings and promises of peace. They are currently besieged, however, by a tribe from the deserts further west from them, who are one of many tribes who worship the faceless god - Allah - whose wrath could ruin the world. They are now being called the Mughal. However, these translucent human-gods from even further west (east, for us) have received abstract knowledge that the planet has not remembered for millions of years, and they have attained a sense of divinity. Their god is also strange. We must be cautious with them. They wish us harm, for they know nothing of the planet or the stars, but merely glean knowledge from other tribes. They understand spirits but nothing of lands like ours or of Bhārat, for their land experiences cycles of death and rebirth. In that sense they are like the peoples north of Mēxihco, but unlike them in that they are disconnected from the earth. The flora and fauna in their original land - the Holy Roman Empire, it is said to be called - are also fragile, unlike ours of stronger lands, stronger jungles and rivers, deserts and mountains. These translucent men are fragile but their force is strong. Isabel de Castilla masterfully conquered one of the tribes of the same religion as the Mughal, and sought new territory. She knew that the path to Bhārat would be through our lands, and yet she fooled many into thinking we were the Indus-Ārya. They’ve already reached the eastern isles, and they speak of their god who is fully human, who sacrificed himself and returned from death. They know many spiritual and abstract things, but nothing of land. They are proud, and their pride breeds violence. Only this slaughtered-man-god could cure them of their mania, but many say they believe in him when they don't. More than anything, they value gold. Unlike us, it is part of their bartering system, and though they also see its divine mystery they are consumed by greed for it. It is unlike any other tribe, except perhaps an old tribe from which they stem - the Judaens. It is as though gold will bring them to unity with their sacrificial-god, though I don't see how._

Malina looks to Kyūbei, then back at Yzma. _And Isabel de Castilla? What of her contract?_

 _Ask the creature_ , Yzma says, waving her hand impatiently. _And who said I wanted the Ayahuasca brew with you? Have the guard send chicha._

Malina takes a deep breath. "Guard, please bring chicha."

Another guard leaves, leaving behind only one.

_Kyūbei, what was Isabel de Castilla's wish? And does her Empire know of you, and does it know her death is because she turned into a witch?_

_I can't tell you what her wish was, but I imagine you can pretty much guess it from what Izama has told you_ , replies Kyūbei. _As far as whether her Empire knows: yes, it does. But it would explain it to its people in a far different way than myself or Izama would, or those from other tribes and Empires_ _. As Izama said, the god they worship is strange, and yes, they possess abstract knowledge even_ we _are curious about. They are motivated by a strange polarity of self-sacrifice and arrogance, and, yes, they seek the substance gold._

 _I imagine_ , says Malina, as the guard returns with chicha for Yzma, _that you, Kyūbei, will tell me things in a way that is most convenient for you, so that I become more convinced to make the contract._

 _You could say yes, or you could say no._ Kyūbei wags his tail.  _My species does not have the mental disorder you humans have, that is 'emotion,' and therefore we have difficulty understanding what you call morals and values._

 _Ha_ , says Yzma, sipping her chicha, _but you would know the value of gold, since it has no emotion, and you know we worship it as divine - you are the collectors of energy, no? You see what we see in the energy the Universe expends on the synthesis of gold._ _Don't make yourself so alien to us humans, Incubator. You're not the smartest just because you possess no emotion._

Malina smirks in solidarity at Yzma. Then the shaman arrives with the Ayahuasca brew.

* * *

**to be continued...**


End file.
